I don't mean to be ugly, but...

We have lots of sayings in the South, but one of my favorites is starting a sentence with, "I don't mean to be ugly, but...", then you proceed to hurl several insults at some unsuspecting person who may or may not be in your presence.  Another one of my favorites is, "Honey, don't talk about yourself, we'll do that when you're gone."  I feel like a lot of that has been going on lately, especially with my current situation. 

As some of you may know, my family business, of close to 18 years, is closing due to poor economic conditions due to a poorly run government.  Now, don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not one to put blame on someone else for my problems.  I'm one of the biggest supporters of the catch phrase "own it" which so many have a tendency not to do.  But my family store closing is not why I'm writing this.  I'm writing this to explain a few things to some people and hopefully by the end of this little rant, I'll still have some friends left and maybe someone will appreciate my candidness and skillfully worded piece and decide they can't live without me working for their business.

Point #1, don't ask someone if they're "really going out of business".  What it shows is ignorance and a complete lack of respect for the person/family that is losing their livelihood.  We have never been the type of business to have fake sales or practice ripping customers off so your allegations of this being a fake going out of business sale is asinine.  I have held my rebuttal comments for weeks now when asked this question and I'm to the point where the sarcasm and razor sharp tongue that I consider my super powers are about to be unleashed.  I don't deal well with stupidity and every time I'm asked the question, "Are you really going out of business?" it edges one up on the stupidity scale and eventually you're going to fall off the scale just like the mountain climber on the Price is Right game.  Instead of overbidding, you're over speaking and you are going to fall off the cliff.

Point #2...As for the magical question that I get asked everyday, about 20 times a day, "What are you gonna do?".  I'll answer this as best as I can shortly but here's how I feel when asked this question.  Mostly, I feel that people are asking it to be nosy.  It's human nature for some, especially people in Picayune/Pearl River County, to enjoy seeing someone fail or fall on hard times.  What else would we gossip about other than all the cheating that goes on in this town?  That's right, I said we because I'm just as guilty as everyone else.  I can honestly say that I've never wished ill will on a business person, though, unless they were the type to not pay their bills and constantly cheat people out of money and yet still live way beyond their means and act holier than Thou.  I don't mean to be ugly but those people I do love to see fail. 

Here's the thing...every time I'm asked that question it just reminds me that I've lost everything that I was counting on to make a living for the rest of my life.  Would you go up to a widow and ask her, "What are you going to do now that your husband's dead?".  Let's pray to Sweet Jesus that you wouldn't although judging from some of the people I know, I can actually see them asking that very question.  Here's what I can answer; (1) I'm not retiring.  I'm 38 years old with a house note and bills and no husband to supplement lost income so stop asking if I'm retiring.  What 38 year old who's been working in furniture retail for the last 15 years do you know that can retire?  Oh, none? Shocker. (2) Yes, I did get certified to teach a few years ago but due to the fact that I never got hired on full time I never got to complete my internship at William Carey so I would have to be hired on an emergency certificate and considering there are teachers that with complete certifications out there that need jobs, who knows how that's going to work out for me.  Sure, I'm just as qualified as they are but it's all about what's on paper. (3) Yes, I would be good at a public relations job.  I love planning events, socializing and seeing something that I oversee succeed.  Find me a company in Picayune that needs that type of position filled and I'll be more that happy to fill it.  I would also love to be an actress so if anyone has any connections for that, feel free to toss my name in the hat.  To answer the question, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO, so as a courtesy to me, please stop asking.  I will put it on Facebook, take out an ad in the paper and call in to Walton and Johnson and let the world know that I've found a calling in life.  I may not seem so bitter if I felt that the question was being asked out of general concern, and by most it is, but there's that certain few that I know don't care and they're the one's I want to poke in the eyes, Three Stooges Style.

If this has in any way offended you,  I'm not sorry.  If it has offended you, you probably have a guilty conscience.  I'm going through a very difficult time right now and I want people to know that, because I'm tired of smiling and making jokes.  I wake up in a panic every morning and cry at the drop of a hat.  Maybe when it's all said and done and I've found a place to move on in my life, I can go back to the jovial me that seems to be a little more popular.  I don't mean to be ugly but, if I say something that seems a bit snippy, I am sorry because my emotions are all over the place; if I leave when you come around, it's not because you smell, it's because I just don't feel like talking to you right now and maybe you smell a little, ;).  I sincerely do wish the best for all of you and hopefully we'll all survive one of the worst economic recessions in our nation's history.  Till then, have a cocktail and try to relax, that's what I'm gonna do.

Much Love,
Nickie