Sight...The Truth Serum of the Senses

It began with a grunt. A grunt that I ignored but a grunt, nonetheless.  The grunt was a noise that I made as I was getting off the sofa one day. The grunt was also accompanied by an extra rocking motion to hoist my body from a piece of furniture. I ignored that grunt for a very long time because hearing something doesn't affect me as much as seeing something. Then I put my eyeballs on this...

That's where this journey that I've tried to take 1000 times begins. Some of you may be saying, "But, Nickie, you've always been _ _ _." You know the word. The dreaded "F" word. Not as bad as the "C" word but it has the same distinct sting and has probably brought more tears to the eyes of chubsters  because, let's face it, most fatties aren't C's, they're normally quite jolly and calling the "fat" is the equivalent of kicking a puppy. This is the picture that made me think, "Sweet Jesus, I look like one of those people that are so fat you can't tell that they're pregnant." It was also the picture that made me say, "Pull it together. That numbness in your left arm isn't going away." 

I have struggled with my weight for the bulk of my life. I did see a picture of myself when I was about 3 in which you could see what could be considered a rib. There's not a time in my life when I don't remember being fat. Ever. I have been made fun of by strangers and friends behind my back and to my face. That's always a good time. I won't use the word "bullies" because that word is totally over utilized today. People called me fat. I dealt with it. In return, I would pick out their flaws in retaliation but that's neither here nor there. Side note: People, teach your children to have a quit wit and be observant of others' weaknesses. That's a sure fire way to get those that are picking on you to leave you alone. Side note done. I have given half-assed efforts at losing weight only to be moderately successful then gain it ALL back and more besides. Once, my mom even tried to lecture me on how I should eat what she eats to lose weight. Keep in mind, she had lap band surgery. 

There are so many horrific stories I could tell you as a "Child Growing Up Fat". That sounds a little like a Lifetime movie or, if we were in the 80's, an after school special." I won't go into specifics because if you've been there, you understand the pain and frustration and if you haven't, well you were probably one of the ones making fun of someone like me. Much like Fat Amy in Pitch Perfect, I make the fat joke first so skinny bitches can't but I know what they're thinking...know that SB's.

I have come to the conclusion that I will never be skinny. I don't believe it's in my genetic makeup. Plus, I just LOVE food and beer. They're freaking awesome. My insurance doesn't cover weight loss surgery so I won't have that tool. With that comment, here's another side note: Weight loss surgery is just that, a tool. In my family, all of the siblings on my mother's side has had some sort of weight loss surgery and all but one has gained a substantial amount, if not all of it, back. For those of you that are lucky enough to have this tool in your back of tricks, use it wisely. Second side note over. I am going to try and do this the old fashion way. Eat healthy and exercise. Diet plans are so far gone from this now that it seems like a new method. There's no carb, low carb, paleo, eating clean, SlimFast, Nutri System, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Adkin's...shoot me now. I'm going to try to eat things that are good for me and get my heart rate up higher than it would get by me sitting on my sofa watching a Walking Dead marathon. Although, those can be kind of exciting.

I decided to do this publicly so I could hold myself accountable for my success or failure. I am still going to enjoy my life by going out to eat with my friends and having beers on my porch. That's never gonna stop. What I will do is do it in moderation and make up for the times when I do partake in the things that aren't necessarily good for me by eating a little better and exercising a little harder. Side note #3, I have heard that drinking beer has its benefits. Take a look.
http://www.naturalnews.com/039616_beer_health_benefits_drinking.html
You really should read side note #3. This is going to be a long process for me and I hope that in three months I can post a new pic that will show a slight change in physique and that clothes that roll under the pressure of my muffin top will be doing so far less.

Now, I'm going to go have a beer. Just kidding, I'm going to the gym. See ya soon!!